Broken Hearted

A church, a fellowship of believers... God has a plan for how it should work. The bible tells us very clearly how people of God should act and let me tell you lately it breaks my heart to see my church doing the exact opposite and dissolving before my very eyes.

I don't know how to describe all of the problems and as a single woman without a father in the church, I am not privy to much information to begin with. What I do see and know are that of gossip, slander, hate, and division to name a few. It began with our pastor leaving because he could not take it anymore and went downhill from there.

Sundays went from one of my favorite days to a day where I don't know where I belong. 

I haven't been going to church. I don't know where to go. I don't feel like I can go there and I don't really want to go anywhere else. It's hard to start over after so many years...and if it's hard just for me I cannot imagine what the pastors family feels like. 

My heart aches. 

I know this fellowship of believers behavior is not pleasing to the Lord. 

I cannot be the only person who sees this and feels this way...can I?

Dear Blog,

It's been a long time. It is time to blow the dust off this old blog and revive it with some fresh thought and insight.

I have been going through a lot of life changes recently. I just finished the hardest semester of my life, I am about to earn an associates degree, I have made a lot of new friends, and most of these new friends come from The Salvation Army church.

The Salvation Army Church is what I kind of what to blog about today. Not really the church itself and their beliefs and whatnot, but I want to share with you the message this last Sunday. Let me preface it with this. It has been a LONG TIME since I have really remembered a sermon, taken it to heart, and really applied to my everyday life.

So what was the message?

The message was illustrated with a snowglobe. A snowglobe a little world incapusulated in a glass globe filled with water and glitter. This globe she said represented each of us and our own little worlds we live in. The glitter that comes up when shaking it represents stirring emotions such as frustration, anxiety, anger, etc. These emotions generally happen because either myself or someone other than God is holding my precious snow globe life. I am letting them or myself shake things up instead of taking my world and putting in the hands of the one who created it.

This illustration was and is so powerful in my life. I find myself stopping myself throughout this week already and saying "who is shaking up my snow globe?" I find that if nothing else it has made me more aware. Trust is something I am working on, but unfortunately I am a slow work in progress.

The other thing that was beautiful is that when I went and talked to Rachel after church she told me that she had gotten a word from the spirit about me during the message. She shared that with me and prayed over me.

Guys, I am telling you it has been a lonnnggg time. Way too long actually since I have really felt alive in the Lord and Sunday was for the first time in a LONG time refreshing.

So I am just praising God for what he is doing in my life right now. I know He has big plans for me and I can't wait for Him to reveal them to me in His timing :)

Stain Glass Masquerade

This song always speaks to me. Hope you enjoy it.

Refreshing fellowship.

I go to church every sunday with the exception of times that I am sick or the weather is too bad to get out. I enjoy my church for the most part, I love the people there, and things are good. However, recently things have seemed mediocre or dull beyond the sermons. I kept wondering what it was and why I didn't feel very good after church. Well friends, today I get it. I get why I have been feeling like church was in a bit of a rut... It was my fault I was not engaging in any deep meaningful fellowship with anyone recently.

I have been going to church for the past couple months and just doing the "hi how are you?"  "fine, how are you?" thing and not getting any encouragement nor really encouraging others. You would think this would not be to easy to considering our church is only 50-60 people and I have known them forever but nope somehow I managed to do it. I regret it and after two long encouraging conversations with people today I know why I can't let it happen again.

I am at college 3-4 days a week. I am around all kinds of worldliness, I am being taught worldliness, I am hearing people talk about things that are abomidable in the eyes of the Lord and I really do need Church and the fellowship and encouragement of other believers to keep me going! I was getting so worn out just almost thinking I was alone in my faith and struggles. I am not and I have a group of people at my church who understand.

Anyway I am rambling now but I think you get the point...Go to church AND ENCOURAGE PEOPLE AND BE ENCOURAGED!!!! ITS GOOD FOR YOUR HEALTH!