Dear Blog,

It's been a long time. It is time to blow the dust off this old blog and revive it with some fresh thought and insight.

I have been going through a lot of life changes recently. I just finished the hardest semester of my life, I am about to earn an associates degree, I have made a lot of new friends, and most of these new friends come from The Salvation Army church.

The Salvation Army Church is what I kind of what to blog about today. Not really the church itself and their beliefs and whatnot, but I want to share with you the message this last Sunday. Let me preface it with this. It has been a LONG TIME since I have really remembered a sermon, taken it to heart, and really applied to my everyday life.

So what was the message?

The message was illustrated with a snowglobe. A snowglobe a little world incapusulated in a glass globe filled with water and glitter. This globe she said represented each of us and our own little worlds we live in. The glitter that comes up when shaking it represents stirring emotions such as frustration, anxiety, anger, etc. These emotions generally happen because either myself or someone other than God is holding my precious snow globe life. I am letting them or myself shake things up instead of taking my world and putting in the hands of the one who created it.

This illustration was and is so powerful in my life. I find myself stopping myself throughout this week already and saying "who is shaking up my snow globe?" I find that if nothing else it has made me more aware. Trust is something I am working on, but unfortunately I am a slow work in progress.

The other thing that was beautiful is that when I went and talked to Rachel after church she told me that she had gotten a word from the spirit about me during the message. She shared that with me and prayed over me.

Guys, I am telling you it has been a lonnnggg time. Way too long actually since I have really felt alive in the Lord and Sunday was for the first time in a LONG time refreshing.

So I am just praising God for what he is doing in my life right now. I know He has big plans for me and I can't wait for Him to reveal them to me in His timing :)

Lesson learned

I have a new friend....lets call him George (just because this blog is on the internet and all ha). Anyway we met at school through a mutual friend and he is nice. He is a good friend and occasionally helps me with math homework. We even have a class together....Well during this class George was really grumpy and he was my partner to work with. On the outside I was a nice, kind person despite his grumpiness. Inside, I was thinking "What is with this guy?" and " He could be a little happier and a little more willing to do this."...

Well after that class I had to eat some humble pie because as it turns out that whole two hours he was in pain. He had to have immediate surgery the next week for a hernia.

So lesson of today? You don't know what people are going through...So maybe when someone is rude or grumpy with you. you should try praying for them instead.

What lessons have you learned this week?

Truth be told...

Lately I have been an sort of an emotional wreck...a small wreck...granted I am not going crazy  or suicidal or anything but life has been kinda rough.

I am struggling with fears and doubts starting college in 11 days...yep that's right I am counting them down! lol. I know that fear and doubts are normal in new situations but I still can't really shake them. You know? I know that God has a plan for me (Jer.29:11) but its kinda hard to remember that sometimes.

I am struggling with finances and getting a job...I think I have a good job opportunity coming up soon but I am not counting my chicks before they hatch! haha. So yeah...again though He is Jehovah Jireh, God my provider. Again though it seems remembering these things when I get in a state of worry and anxiety is the hard part.

Another thing I struggle with is just seeing all my friends going out on dates and having relationships and I am in the same old rut...alone. I know that I am not truly alone and God is there...but sometimes my heart still aches. Its a real trial sometimes...one I feel like I have dealt with many times before but I really think it gets harder as you get older. I could be wrong but yeah...trying not to dwell on it and remember that I am more available to God and His calling in my singleness =)



So yeah I know this was not the happiest blog ever...ok it stunk...but it is the truth and sometimes life is not fun. lol.