Saturday, March 21, 2015

new blog

If anyone stills follows this blog... well I am flattered and astounded. Secondly, I have a new one now.

Check it out!

Wednesday, August 13, 2014


Always the great friend
just like a sister to him
Great conversations
humor and fun
Understanding one another's
except for one
you don't know
the pain you cause
I never tell you
that my heart aches

We get each other
but you always seem to
 like another
You don't even consider
a friendship that has
held us together

We were there for each other
when things were grim
through many years
we got each other through
many problems
I would like to think
our bond would mean something
more than a friend
something deeper
but no
you seek fairer than the one
closest to you

It never does mean more
not to you
You are not the first
probably not the last
of a long line of
friends that don't last

Sunday, June 22, 2014

Rape Culture- Clothing- a call for modesty and respect.

I see many things going around the internet about rape culture in regards to how women dress. A lot of what I am seeing is making me angry. However, before I begin let me make a couple things clear:

1. Rape is wrong and awful no matter what.
2. It shouldn't happen regardless of what a women is wearing
3. I do think that clothing does play a part in it though.

Like I noted raper is an awful, terrible crime that I wish did not happen, but it does. A lot of recent internet stuff has shown pictures of females wearing clothes that bare about 90% of her skin, these pictures come with stories about how these women should be empowered, able to wear what they want, and not be a victim of rape. Great, this sounds idealistic, but we can't be completely fooling ourselves can we?  I mean I know that a woman can be raped regardless of what she wears, but isn't showing so much of your body just an invitation if not for a physical act of harm than for mental ones?  I have talked to guys about this subject and even if they wouldn't dream of physically harming a woman, if they are honest they will tell you that it is hard to have a conversation with a scantily clad woman versus a woman that values her body by covering it up. For that matter the same goes for men. Rape is not something that happens as often to them (at least if it is then it is not reported), but they should also have respect for their bodies. It is hard for me to concentrate when talking to a man when his underwear is showing or his shirt is too tight.

I am making a case for modesty here, but I am not asking women to wear Victorian dresses or men to walk around in three piece suits (although that could be cool). I am just saying lets all have some respect for our bodies and each other. Lets dress in a way that says we are to be respected in every aspect of our lives, and lets do just that to other people. I know this won't completely stop these crimes, but it also won't hurt anything.

Or am I crazy and idealistic for thinking this way?

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Oh insomnia
why must you
keep me awake
with unwanted waves
of emotions
and many thoughts

I don't want you,
but you refuse to leave
endless chattering all night
that won't stop.
Let me rest

I miss you
come back?

Sunday, January 26, 2014


Food: The last food I had was a gross cheeseburger from mcdonalds

Drink: Been drinking Gatorade and water since Friday

Top: Soft black and purple striped tshirt from gap

Bottoms: Blue pajama pants with white and yellow flowers

Watching: I watched Frozen for the first time last night it was cute!

Listening to: The cat in my lap purring

Feeling: Like I am getting over the flu...mostly because I am. Also a little restless.

Sunday, January 5, 2014

Broken Hearted

A church, a fellowship of believers... God has a plan for how it should work. The bible tells us very clearly how people of God should act and let me tell you lately it breaks my heart to see my church doing the exact opposite and dissolving before my very eyes.

I don't know how to describe all of the problems and as a single woman without a father in the church, I am not privy to much information to begin with. What I do see and know are that of gossip, slander, hate, and division to name a few. It began with our pastor leaving because he could not take it anymore and went downhill from there.

Sundays went from one of my favorite days to a day where I don't know where I belong. 

I haven't been going to church. I don't know where to go. I don't feel like I can go there and I don't really want to go anywhere else. It's hard to start over after so many years...and if it's hard just for me I cannot imagine what the pastors family feels like. 

My heart aches. 

I know this fellowship of believers behavior is not pleasing to the Lord. 

I cannot be the only person who sees this and feels this way...can I?